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Monthly Archives: July 2008

Hey there Laura! Thanks for reading.

Ok, apologies to those of you not named Laura. I love you just as much. I wanted to share with you one of the proudest moments of my life. I have been very afraid of libraries for as long as I can remember. Every time I go into a library, I feel like I’m about to get lost. No, not lost in the magical worlds of books, but, rather, in the endless, identical shelves of books that smell of must and musk.

I had a library card as a kid, but I think I stopped going around the age of eight (loyal readers now know that age eight was a monumental year for me). I had invented at least two or three traumatic stories of things that happened in the children’s section to tell my parents, so they wouldn’t ever take me back there. Now, ten years later, I was ready to give it another shot. Totally different library, by the way; the old, scary one is no longer standing.

Yes, I’m much older now, but I am truly frightened of little kids in groups lager than three, so I was pretty worried about what I might encounter. This was a different sort of library, though. It was in a strip mall, it was poorly marked, I had to walk through some sort of antique shop/garage sale just to get to it, and it seemed to be in a basement. These all made it extra scary, which thus made my feat all the more triumphant!

Yes, it’s true, I spent a solid 45 minutes in there, exploring every corner of every section, familiarizing myself with the work of Melvil Dewey, even chatting it up with the librarian. At the end of my browsing, I confidently approached the counter with one book and three obscurish movies, ready to go home a changed man. Of course, I needed a library card. Asking the disgruntled teenage employee for the necessary materials, my heart jumped a bit, causing my voice to quake and crack nervously. I’m sure she thought I was pretty weird, because of that and because I had selected 4 items she probably had never imagined to exist.

Oh well, I should be congratulated for conquering one of my oldest, deepest fears. So, yeah, this is the part where you leave a comment congratulating me. Thanks in advance!

The Top Ten Things I learned at USC Orientation:

10. Orange hair is intimidating.
9. Women with moderate to severe cases of man-face should still wear bras.
8. Nothing beats the view from floor 11 of Fluor tower.
7. Wahoo’s Fish Tacos will become a staple of my diet.
6. So will Krispy Kreme donuts.
5. I will gain weight, even though the gym is right next door.
4. My ability to pretend like I enjoy reading will be tested.
3. The coldest it gets at USC is the warmest it gets at my current residence.
2. Five-dollar shakes actually exist in California, and they are indeed quite tasty.
1. Tylenol PM can turn clouds into all the colors of the rainbow.